Yeah, I know it has been a while. School got tough. Medical condition are always compounding. And most days it is a tough to find much to be enthusiastic about. Yes, there is always hope, but sometimes it is hidden behind a wall of other things.
I try to find meaning for all of this as best as possible. That is easier somedays and infuriating other days. I think the things that are toughest to manage are: always being tired and at the same time never being able to sleep at night.
Yeah I know that doesn’t make sense, but it is 3:40am as I type this and I am wide awake. Typically about 5am I am really getting to sleep. Which is funny becouse that is the time my dad and brother are typically waking up. I suppose this is the changing of the guards.
The obvious question people ask me is “What do you do all night?” As a general rule, I lay in bed. Joanna is asleep and I try not to wake her.
So here I am typing on my laptop and my iPad is open and playing movies or tv shows that I semi pay attention to. Some movies/shows seem to be on a near constant replay. I don’t want to think about how many times I have watched the Dark Knight series or Lord of the Rings.
Tonight I am watching justice league. Not my favorite superhero movie…. but it was next on the list. The obvious question is couldn’t they have spent a little more money to fix the smudge that is pretending to hid Henry Cavil’s mustache? It was like they used windows movie maker’s basic filter to fix it. Such a shame. I am trying to figure out something to really say was the bright light in this movie… The batcave. That was cool, but disappointing from an entire movie scale.
Meanwhile I find things to do. Sometimes it is school work. Sometimes it is updating our our plex database, router configuration, network parental controls, etc. Sometimes it is just reading posts on reddit or wikipedia to learn something new. Sometimes I just lay here and wonder why me. Yeah that last one is tough because there is no answer.
I wish there was a happy epiphany to this post. There isn’t. This is just me musing between the evening hours and morning… a time where I would rather be asleep. But much like everything else presently going on, I am in this weird moment of time.
